What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse and progressive world in which we live.

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Hello I'm a fat kid

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An Asian man man couldn't find his family, he is deeply concerned and contacts the missing persons unit.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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Hitler is my role model

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Justin Bieber

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What do you call a teacher that gets wasted? A wasted teacher.

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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My mom's dead

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What's worse than finding gum stuck on the bottom of your desk? A clown following you around carrying a shotgun and throwing toothbrushes at you.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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