your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Religion

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

thumb_up thumb_down -25

what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops