whats red white and blue? i dont know

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Two girls were sitting quietly. Badum tss

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, go ask the chicken.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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Q: What's big and white and can't climb trees? A: a fridge

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Whats long and hard? a pole

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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Golf.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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