How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What's not red? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q:What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? A: It varies. But most dental offices are open for service between 8am and 4pm

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why does andy thomson speak that slow because he speaks that way

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops