What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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a little girl gets raped

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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