What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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What time is it? 10:58

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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shut up

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Your Momma's so fat when the whales see her they don't say anything as they are unable to speak the human language.

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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God is religiously proven to be real

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What did the first muffin say to the second? Nothing. Muffins can't talk, you idiot.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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