man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

How do you make a bowl of cheese? First you get a bowl. Then insert the cheese.

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

A man walks into a store, and says to the cashier: "I'd like to buy 6 fridges". The cashier says: "Why do you need that many fridges?" The man says: "I'm an antelope!"

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

Mmmm, donuts

What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

Adam Sandler.

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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