Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do I smell like to you?? Crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

thumb_up thumb_down

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

thumb_up thumb_down

Canada

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Quadriplegic walked into a bar,

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What color is my lamp? Brown

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

thumb_up thumb_down -8

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops