If Pythagoras was racist, he would have made hypotenuses.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah Witness.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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Why did the girl go over her texting limit? She had a hot boyfriend.

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what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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What is black blue and screaming? Your daughter when i kicked the shit out of her

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A girl walks into a bar. She's a lesbian.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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This guy walks up to the bartender, and says to him, " ill bet you $100 that i can piss in this cup from 20 ft away." The bartender laughs, thinking hes gonna get an easy 100 bucks. he says "ok, u do that and ill watch." the guy says "ok but one second." he then walks over to this table full of guys and the bartender see him and them whispering and shaking heads. then the guys walks back over, and says to the bartender, "ok here i go" then he whips out his wang and starts pissing all over the place,all over the bartender, the counter, everywhere but the cup. Meanwhile the bartenders laughing, because he thinks he made some easy money. then the bartender asks the guy for his money and the guy says, "alright one minute." then the guys walks over to the table full of guys and they al start pulling out money and give it to him. so the guy walks over to the bartender and says, "here you are, your 100 bucks" the bartender notices him smileing and says "u just lost 100 bucks why are you happy?" and the guy says, " you see that table full of guys over there? well, i bet them all $500 dollars that i could piss all over you, your counter and all of your things, and that youd not only be happy about it, but youd laugh!!!"

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What’s the best part about winning a gold medal? Nothing. You’re on acid and staring straight at the sun.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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What happened when the terrorist with a bomb went into a school. He blew up and everyone died.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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