Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Why did the penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcoholism is destroying his family.

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So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask them politely to turn down their volume.

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What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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knock knock come in

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So dont touch it

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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