There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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Why did the old man die? Because everyone dies

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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i have 2 penises

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No entiendo PORQUE cada día amanezco

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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