A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One You're Crazy

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What did the peanut butter say to the jelly?

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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