Knock Knock. Go away!

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

Time flies like a banana.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

why did the bananan explode? it was a grenade

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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