Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Roses are red. So is bacon, Poetry is hard . bacon.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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alcoholism kills

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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69

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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what is brown and sticky? a stick

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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