yo momma is so tall shes tall

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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I was going to write a joke about how I have alzheimers but than I forgot it

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Whose name was Mike

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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Why did the man have trouble breathing after meeting the President? He had a collapsed lung.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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How do you stop the neighbors kids jumping your fence and stealing your lemons? Molest them.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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Q: How much does a hipster weigh? A: It varies largely by hipster, the same way it does with any other person.

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What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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Three blind mice walk into a bar, but they are unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from it would be exploitative

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Why couldn't the woman go grocery shopping? She was paralyzed from the neck down.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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