Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

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Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

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whats the difference between a dog and a cat? ones a dog.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch!" Passersby notice the man is blind, which caused him not to notice the bar. He later died in the hospital from severe head trauma

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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why does everyone hate chris. cause he's a douchebag.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Thousands upon thousands upon thousands of dying infants.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

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What is the first step in making an ugly girl pretty? Shave her genitals.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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That's what he said.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bad-mannered Bad-mannered who? F*ck Off

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Why does Michael Jackson like K-mart? He does not; he is dead.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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