What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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why did the kid go in his room and lock the door. to masturbate

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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96

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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why did the football coach go to the bank? to make a deposit into his account

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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