A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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Obamacare!

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Penis

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Black people

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4 out of 5 Americans make up 80% of Americans

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What did the twin towers get at the pizza place? 2 planes

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whats gay ? you

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What did one guy say to the other guy?? Well he just hi but hi backwards is ih and that reminded him of his days in Nahm because that's what his Sargent said and that reminded him of ice-cream because his Sargent smelled like ice-cream and that reminded him of the song that the ice-cream played which reminded him of Disney world which reminded him of a priest raping little boys which mad him laugh because that reminded him of a Jew picking up a penny which reminded him of Osama be shot in the f**k**g face and that reminded him to say how are you to the other guy.

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Ok, So what happens when an Irishman, Rabbi, and a Black guy all walk into a bar. Nothing the Black guys a recovering alcoholic and is supported by his loving family and friends, especially by his son Martin who he promised to stop drinking when he was 7.

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whats the difference between santa claus and jewish people santa claus goes down the chimney and jewish people go up

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown everything is brown Who shat in my garden?

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Yo mama so fat she died

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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