An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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George W. Bush

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Punchline.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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