Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do Ed Milliband and David Milliband have in common? They are brothers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Dear John,

thumb_up thumb_down -13

your mom is so old that she farts dust.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock who's there? ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dislike me!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how do you make sure someone is dead shoot them

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a black priest? Holy Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What's the diference between an African guy and a lion? Nothing. But the lion will probably eat the African guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

69

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops