Q. Why did the sheep die? A. I pushed it off a bridge

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Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

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a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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What did Hellen Keller's parents punish her? They didn't. She was a blind deaf-mute, there was very little she could do wrong

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Why did the elf cry? Because someone stole his shoe.

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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He is so gay that he likes penis.

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How do you keep an italian from talking? You duct tape his mouth.

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

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What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

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whats bonged in and looks like milk? harry after some cani

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derp

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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A man walks into a bar. "Ouch, he says, I did not see that bar there."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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