I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between a mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, which would e very unsafe to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -90

What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Horse tits

thumb_up thumb_down -155

What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

thumb_up thumb_down +87

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

thumb_up thumb_down -81

What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Why are anti jokes funny....cause morons come up with them...

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops