Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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a guy is driving home his wife calls him and she say's be careful there is a lunatic driving on the wrong side of the road towards traffic he then reply saying they all are

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Why did the 1,000 pound woman start crying? Because her son got hit by a car.

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Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

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So what happened after 911?? What do you think?

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Q; What's something that's long and girls like to suck? A: A popsicle

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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What's worse than being raped? Finding out that because you were sexually violated, you are now a victim of unplanned pregnancy and have contracted AIDS and any number of other STD's from the horrible expirence that will forever haunt your nightmares.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What did the man with paranoid schizophrenia say? I suffer from paranoid schizophrenia.

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What's the worst thing about being homeless? Not having a home.

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Why did the monkey sit on the toilet? To have a bowelmovement

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? I stapled it to the first monkey!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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