your momma is so old, she has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -19

This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hitler is my role model

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

thumb_up thumb_down +68

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Knock knock. Whos there? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do clowns put on bagels? Cream Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Relax, and I do not mean as in hypnotic "relax as you do not not... Okay I used it again I am just joking" Nice, so are they like pretty doubles or not?

thumb_up thumb_down +44

The WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops