- Anti Joke

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

What is 18 inches long and makes a woman scream all night? Crib death.

where's waldo? in a picture book.

What do divorce and a loose bear in a zoo have in common? They both tear families apart

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Waking up with a snapping turtle up your butt.

Knock Knock. Shut up.

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

Nice legs, what time do they open the free bar, I'd like to by you a drink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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