What's your name? You tell me.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Noah is Smart.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The mexican, the black man broke his arm and the mexican is driving him to the hospital.

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What happens if you throw a red ruby into the black sea? It gets wet.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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women's rights

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Two.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Your life That's the joke

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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