what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Sea World Japan.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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a black guy leaves prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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