What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke? Joke, joke , joooooookkkeeee

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Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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What word starts with 'f' and ends in 'uck'? Firetruck

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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How come the twin boys wanted to climb a tree for fun today? Because They both wanted to commit suicide...

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Who is Soulja Boy's best friend? YOUUUUUUUUUUUU

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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Why did the orange put on the sun block? Because it was afraid of turning into a TAN-gerine!

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Why Did the throw up He was sick

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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