A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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Jack and Jill climb a tall hill to get some water from the well for there farther who has been working in the fields. Jack trips and hits his hell on a rock and Jill promptly calls 911 and stays with him until help arrives.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

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There is a car full of black people.

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what did the duck say to the dog. quack

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Why was the baseball player arrested after stealing a base? Because he pulled out a knife and stabbed the shortstop in the chest.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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A Poem that would be from a stocker: Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van and NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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What's your name? You tell me.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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