Why did the man jump off the bridge? He was clinically depressed and wanted to commite suicide

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Baseball

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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you are gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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