What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you call an insect that has 8 legs? A spider.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Yo mama so fat she died

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Two gay men in a hottub. They relaxed for about half an hour before getting out and going to the bed, where they fell asleep.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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The government wants us to stop using gas and be eco friendly. Tell that to Hitler.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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God.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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