Roses are red Violets are blue And so does your mom…

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

What is brown and smells? Poop

A horse walks into a bar...n

What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, dogs can't speak English.

Why did Sally Fall Off The Swing? She had no arms Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sally

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

Your mother is so fat that unfortunately she can not fit into her picture for her passport and is not allowed to leave the country to go visit her dying mother.

A black horse and a white horse were running through a field. Suddenly, the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. They passed a tree. There was a Russian man sitting under the tree. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost. The Russian decided that they really didn’t make great racehorses, so he set them free. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was a Mexican man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Again, they lost, so the Mexican set them free in the field. The following day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Italian man. He said, “Wow, these would make such great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. Once again, the horses did not win, so the Italian let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were again running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an Asian man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost, so the Asian man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an African man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. The horses lost again, so the African man released them. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an American man. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” So he captured them and put them in a race. Right before the gates opened, the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the gates opened and they started to run, but the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, then the white horse got up and they both kept running. They lost, so the American sadly let them go. The next day, the black horse and the white horse were running through the field, when the white horse fell down, so the black horse came back, and the black horse looked at the white horse, and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the white horse got back up, and they kept running. Today under the tree, there was an platypus. He said, “Wow, these would make great racehorses!” Then the black horse looked at the white horse and the white horse looked at the black horse, and the black horse said, “Wow, a talking platypus!”

The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

Nicholas Cage

Hi poop!

Where else? The junk yard

Ben Colbert is gay

What is the saddest color? Red because his family recently was killed

Whats the difference........ between a duck?

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

I have read and agree to terms of service.

Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

Person 1) Yo mama's so fat Person 2) My mother died in a horrible car accident last week

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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