Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How can a black man burn his pop-tarts? If he leaves them in the toaster for too long.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's sweaty, fat, and Italian? Italians

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A murderer takes you hostage. He lists three ways that you will die, but he lets you choose your death: 1. A bullet in your head. 2. A knife in your heart. 3. A lethal injection. What do you choose? It doesn't matter. You're dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Water, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -41

How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Why did the blond fail her Calculus test? She had a Biology test on the same day, and being that she is a bio major she felt it would be to her interest to put more emphasis on the bio test because she is only taking cal as an advanced elective credit, which would not effect her major GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

What's big, grey and can't swim? A castle

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +54

There is a car full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops