What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Q:what has legs but may never walk? A: a table

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Dozer has a soul

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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If you look up stupid in the dictionary the definition would say stu·pid? ?[stoo-pid, styoo?] -er, -est, noun adjective 1. lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull. 2. characterized by or proceeding from mental dullness; foolish; senseless: a stupid question. 3. tediously dull, especially due to lack of meaning or sense; inane; pointless: a stupid party. 4. annoying or irritating; troublesome: Turn off that stupid radio. 5. in a state of stupor; stupefied: stupid from fatigue.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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In Capitalist America, bank robs you!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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