Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

i hate you.

why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

noodles

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

How do you amuse a blonde? ? tell her to go to antijokes.com ( :

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you.

professor x walks over to wolverine with good news, he falls and dies of a severe concussion

What do you call a pickle that is sad? A pickle!????

Billy was walking along the sidewalk. He strayed into someone's yard. He got run over by a lawnmower because he couldn't see with the frog he had stapled to his face.

Once upon a time, a princess was hungry. and there was a frog wearing a tux for some reason.so the princess ate him. THE END.

Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

I have read the Terms of Service.

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Bring him to shore and, if you are certified, perform cpr.

Obama is a black man living in a white house. TEEHEE

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has psychotic tendencies.

Kim Kardashian's Marriage.

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

There was a deaf guy who heard a mute guy tell someone that a blind guy saw a guy with no legs win the marathon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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