A fat man buys a salad

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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two fish are in a tank.

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Rebecca Black sings a song.

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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noodles

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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Person 1: Do you like impressions? Person 2: Yes! P1: Why? ... P1: That was Socrates.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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chuck norris

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Bing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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