A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Exactly what?

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Baseball

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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What is x (4 - 10) + 6879 (333) x 678912345 - 9.87537 when x equals pi? Answer: YOUR FACE!!!

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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noodles

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Why did the man masturbate? Because there was no one who wanted to partake in sexual intercourse with him.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

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Don't you hate it when you're reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles. _._._

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 1,150 pounds.

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you are gay

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What does Paris Hilton eat on Tuesdays? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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