Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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lol

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What do you call a lettuce named Andrew? Andrew.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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96

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if it's friday, it must be China

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What do you get when an Alabama and an LSU kid are mixed?A small child who grows up in a world of fighting and domestic violence.

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The chicken crossed the road.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an axe. -Tag

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if u r not my friend, like this joke

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

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How do u save someone from dieing of cancer? U shoot them in the head

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Why couldn't the girl charge her phone? The charger wasn't plugged in.

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So dont touch it

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Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A salad, hes on a diet

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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a man walks into a bar... and he says 'ouch!'

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What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

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So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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