What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner there is no god and everybody hates you.

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What's worse than eating an apple with aids? Loosing your virginity to the seven chosen ones.

Q: Whats better than ten babies in ten trash cans? A: One baby in ten trash cans

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

roses are red violets are black why is your chest as flat as my back

Q: What did Helen Keller say to the bartender? A: "I would like a bud lite please" it was a different Helen Kellar

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

I am a real homosexual

there where 3 guys at a magic pool. if you jump in and say anything it appears in the pool. the first guy runs, jumps and says money!! he gets a bunch of money. the second guy runs, jumps and says gold!! he gets a bunch of gold. the third guy runs, slips says SHIT!!!! and lands in the pool.

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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