What is a dog? Bark

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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How did the blonde die? She got slurped up by a 1,000-foot anteater. How did the 1,000-foot anteater die? He got slurped up a 10,000 foot anteatereater. How did the 10,000 foot anteatereater die? It doesn't matter. The Earth just got slurped up by a one-trillion-foot planeteater.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

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dildo

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Hi poop!

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shook hands with Marty ,talked about politics, then walked away.

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Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

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Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Rape.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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"Doctor do i have aids?" asked the worried 13-year old.

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Q.)What did the man say to the toilet A.) Hi Jon

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- Server, there's a hair in my soup ! - You're right, sir, I'll give you another soup imminently.

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wat?

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What do you do when you're making out with your girlfriend? Play with another dude's ass.

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hi

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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