Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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American Idol

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Exactly what?

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Women's Rights

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What did the teacher say to the student who stepped on a rusty nail? You have to go to the Nurse's Office to get a band-aid- I don't have any.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Q: what do polo bears have for lunch A: iceburger

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God is religiously proven to be real

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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two fish are in a tank.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

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noodles

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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