What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? because i shot it.

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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Roses re red Violets are black You'd look better with a knife in your back

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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Penis.

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What does the English major do? Write anti-jokes because he has no job

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What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

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Whats the difference between Osama and Obama? The S is replaced with a B.

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You wanna know what sucks about your face? . . Everything.

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Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

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Why was the stress line down? Because now the population is one-hundred short of yesterday.

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want to no whats funny what your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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