When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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jack shine has boobs

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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Why doesn't the chicken wear pants? Beacuse its pecker is on its face.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Google Doodles

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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