A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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Oliver's friends

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A pilot.

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God.

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Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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A Muslim blows up a bar

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenia, and don't have any friends

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What do you call two men having sex with Oprah? Group sex.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A rebellious teenage boy throws a dozen eggs on the street, now he has no eggs.

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What is fat and ugly? Your American MUM!

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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A horse walks in a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse didn't reply because he was a hoarse horse.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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