What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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what did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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A blond is stranded on a desert island when she finds a magic lamp. Except it's actually a rock and she is hallucinating due to dehydration and starvation.

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Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

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what do u call a hobo name Max Max

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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jack shine has boobs

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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One Big Ass Mistake America

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What do you call a bunch of balck men running down a hill. A bunch of balck men running down a hill.

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Why does LeBron James keep his phone on vibrate? Because he is often in the company of others and he does not want a ringtone to distract others from the current topic of discussion.

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Knock Knock. F uck off.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Baseball

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Your mom is such a slut that she has herpes.

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When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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