A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

thumb_up thumb_down -120

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +71

Your momma's of a reasonable figure and weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A Mexican and an Irishman walk into a bar. They have a couple drinks. Then they leave because it turns out that wasn't the bar they were meeting the Jew at.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops