Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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The new pickup line. The human body has 206 bones in it. I have broken one of them, please take me to a hospital.

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A fat man buys a salad

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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what black and white and read all over? a woman who has just been beaten and raped and left to die in the snow.

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Chaney is a dumb b****

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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hi my name is? joe

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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PENIS

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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