Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Giving birth to the antichrist

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you ever seen Helen Keller's house? No. Well it's really nice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

thumb_up thumb_down

Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q. Why did the black man get sent to prison? A. Because he was falsely accused of murder.

thumb_up thumb_down

. Deez nuts Ok

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Jim laugh so hard? Triangle!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops