Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

Roses are red, violets are blue; So go in bed, where I'll join you...

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

"So, how's life in North Korea?" "Well, I can't complain."

As a wise man once told me... "natives."

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

Chocolate tastes good.

Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

What did Jerry Sandusky get for Christmas? Raped in jail.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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