Why did the Asian man have squinty eyes? He was looking at the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems don't rhyme, This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man walks into Best Buy and buys a Television full price.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the man with no arms and no legs receive for Christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's the difference between people with aids and people with cancer? People with cancer can get into heaven

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

thumb_up thumb_down -4

if life gives you lemons, make lemonade. unless you only get one lemon, then it really hard to make a good glass..and for that matter, who said you had a juicer? it would be really hard to just squeeze the juice out of a lemon. on top of that, what kind of situation am I in that I would need lemonade? let's say if life gives you lemons, determine the best use of them based on need, local weather and economic status

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the monkey on the floor? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Did you know Helen Keller had a cat? Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A van drives into a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock. Who's there? Paris. Paris who? Paris, France.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

thumb_up thumb_down -16

knock knock Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

So this guy walks into a bar. He is promptly rushed to the hospital due to the risk of brain damage, concussion, or other serious head injury.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops