Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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How do you get a bunch of Pokémon onto a bus? You tell them to ride a bus

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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the blonde choked o a gummy bear. What happened next? she went to the hospital

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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Your mother is so obese that the extra weight is putting strain on her knees she now needs knee surgery.

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mum is dead

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Last night I had consensual sex with my long term girlfriend in the missionary position. It lasted approximately 4 minutes before I ejaculated into the durex extra safe condom.

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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