Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

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A fat man walks into a bar. There is a 70% chance his mom is fat.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What's better than winning the Silver Medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because people kept making the same joke about her not having arms so she was hoping the fall would break her neck.

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Simon Cowell's hair is real.

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9:11 make a wish

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come in!

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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