A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

a woman asked her husband, why havent you been talking to me? the man answers, you are having an affair so i ignored you and only talked to the girl im cheating on you with. you should know your a horrible person

thumb_up thumb_down +40

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

this website...

thumb_up thumb_down +36

People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did Pikachu say to Ghandi? Pika Pika

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, Knock! Who's there? Matt. Matt, who? You're friend Matt that you texted twenty minutes ago telling me to come over.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

where's waldo? in a picture book.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops