- Anti Joke

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

your amazing just the way you are... even though you have aids.

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Potato salad

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

lewis bedford

Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

Three men are walking down the street to buy groceries. They then take a left and continue walking towards the store.

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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