Why did the man go to Chinatown? Because he was hungry.

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what do you call someone that ran into a wall hurt

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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Q: How do you surprise a newt? A: Jump on it while shouting, "slippers." This may not work as the newt may die before it has the chance to be surprised, however the slippers should be intact.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

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Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

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How do you stop someone from dying of cancer? Shoot them in the head.

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you want to hear a joke? sure... too bad

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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Kate

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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What do you call a racist guy surrounded by a gang of black pepole? Dead.

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Your life That's the joke

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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A man walks into a bar. Ow!

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Q: Why did the boy cry? A: He was denied access into heaven

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Two juggalos go to an Insane Clown Posse show.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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a 12 year old walks into a bar she orders a drink and dies she then walks out of the bar

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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What do you do when you see a black man? The same thing you do when you see anybody.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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