I jizzed in my pants. It tasted good

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

What do you do to a duck with no bill? Please, leave the duck alone, it's bad enough for him having no bill.

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other one's a watermelon

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

Herman Cain

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

Why did the mexican cross the road....... To find work so he can support his starving family

Why did the pie cross the road? I have no idea, why not ask it?

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

How did the fireman get the cat out of the tree? He shot it.

penis

What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

why did the arrow hit the knee? the same reason pigs cant fly.

What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

What did Sally get for Christmas? Nothing, Sally is dead

Dead babies.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What comes after "Q" R

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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